From Childhood Abuse to Success: My Journey Through Trauma, Loss, and Healing
Life isn’t a straightforward story, everyone has their own journey and here is mine. It’s a messy tale of hardship, resilience, and finding my way.
From Darkness to Light
There are moments in life that break you. For me, those moments came early—childhood sexual abuse, relentless bullying, and the sudden loss of the people I loved most. But this isn’t a story about staying broken.
It’s about survival. About taking the pieces of a fractured life and building something stronger, something worthwhile. My journey isn’t perfect, but it’s proof that even in the darkest times, there’s a way forward.
I’ve wanted to write about what I’ve gone through for a while, but I always hesitated, and the reason, primarily is that I was sexually abused as a child, and this is a fact It took a very long time for me to come to terms with and even think about let alone write publicly about.
Despite that, I thought, most people don’t read what I write anyway, so I’ll put it out there, I find it’s very soothing to get your thoughts out in writing and it’s a way to create a memoir.
Early Years
I was born in Portugal, but when I was three, my parents moved us to the UK in search of better opportunities. Life, however, wasn’t kind to me.
At a young age, I was sexually abused by my mum’s uncle—an experience that cast a long shadow over my childhood and into my adult life, and it’s something I didn’t confront until I was in my early twenties.
School wasn’t much better. I was bullied relentlessly in primary school for being different, also due to being foreign, I’d regularly hear “we don’t want you foreigners here” from other students, sometimes held down and beaten by other children. I still remember a teacher in Year 2 telling me I’d grow up to be a road sweeper, the jokes on her at least…
Moving frequently didn’t help. At 13, we returned to Portugal, then back to the UK when I was 17. These constant upheavals made it hard to find stability or lasting friendships.
ADHD and Academic Struggles
ADHD added another layer of difficulty. Back then, it wasn’t well understood, so I was labeled as “bright but chaotic.” Teachers saw potential but complained that I was disorganised and never finished what I started. Homework was a constant struggle, and my grades reflected that.
But ADHD had its silver lining. It gave me the ability to hyperfocus on things that fascinated me. Programming became my escape. I could lose myself in lines of code, and for the first time, I felt capable and in control.
Despite not really learning a lot in school, once I was out of school and in college, I started hyper-fixating on all things that interested me, Science, technology, geography, and more, I ended up educating myself outside of school to a pretty high level, catching up on everything I missed out.
Losses That Shaped Me
When I was 21, my grandmother passed away. She had been a constant in my life, and her loss left a huge void. Just two days later, my dad died suddenly from a stroke.
My mom and I had flown out to Portugal for my grandmothers funeral, and ended up having to cut the journey short to return and see my dad in the hospital, unfortunately, I never got to speak to him again, and had to say my goodbyes in the hospital in Cambridge.
My dad left a marking impression on me, he was a craftsman and entrepreneur, and he did his best for us, despite not always being the best dad, he loved us, he wanted the best for us, and to protect us.
He started out building boats in Madeira and later became a high-end kitchen fitter in the UK, working with clients like David Beckham and Rowan Atkinson. He had a reputation for precision and excellence, traits that deeply influenced me.
His death hit me hard. I hadn’t had enough time to learn from him or fully understand the depth of his character. It felt like there was so much unfinished between us.
Finding Refuge in Computers
In the chaos of my life, computers became my sanctuary. My dad supported my interest, buying me my first PC. By 16, I discovered flight simulation and virtual airlines, which opened up a whole new world for me.
I decided to create my own virtual airline, teaching myself PHP and coding the entire system from scratch. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked, and I even managed to sell it. That experience taught me the value of finishing projects, marketing, and creating something people wanted.
From there, I started freelancing, building websites for small businesses I found through Gumtree. Those early jobs gave me confidence in my skills and the belief that I could turn my passion into a career. Eventually, I landed a role at MintTwist, which launched my professional journey.
Healing Through Psychedelics
Despite career progress, I couldn’t escape the weight of my past. Therapy through the NHS wasn’t effective, and private therapy was out of reach financially.
Cannabis became a tool for introspection, helping me process what was going on in my head. Later, I experimented with psychedelics, including psilocybin mushrooms and LSD.
These experiences were transformative. Psychedelics forced me to confront the trauma I’d buried for years. They stripped away distractions, leaving me face-to-face with my pain. Through these journeys, I realised I wasn’t to blame for what happened to me. For the first time, I felt self-compassion and began to let go of the guilt and self-doubt that had haunted me.
Some of the art I made during this phase of my life :D
Building a Life
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with some incredible companies, including Warner Brothers and Eagle Eye. I’ve also collaborated with high-profile individuals, like rapper T.I.’s team. But while these career milestones are meaningful, they aren’t what define me.
What matters most is the life I’ve built outside of work. I’m married to an incredible woman, and we have a three-year-old daughter who lights up our lives. Fatherhood has given me a new perspective on resilience and made me more determined than ever to provide a stable, loving environment for my family.
A Message for Others
If you’ve faced trauma, loss, or adversity, know this: you’re not alone. Your pain is valid, and it’s okay to acknowledge it. Healing isn’t linear, and it’s not easy, but it’s worth pursuing in whatever way works for you.
For me, it was a combination of introspection, creativity, and unconventional approaches like psychedelics that allowed me to process my past and move forward. For you, it might look completely different, and that’s okay. What matters is that you don’t let the weight of your experiences hold you back from building the life you deserve.
Your hardships don’t define you. They shape you, yes—but they don’t have to control your future. Refuse to see yourself as a victim. Instead, be a survivor.
I’m not claiming to have all the answers, but I know this: there is hope, even in the darkest moments. Life will test you, but you’re stronger than you realise. Keep going.